So I haven't been blogging that much about my new puppy....Probably because I've been out buying her cute leashes, harnesses, coats, dresses and bags. I am obsessed with all these dog accessories! I even considered getting the dog a manicure today. What is wrong with me?
How did I get the cutest puppy in the world? Well, it's a LONG story. Apparently when our puppy was being born - there were some complications with her birth...so the owner just went on in and tried to pull the puppy out of the birth canal by her front leg. In doing this she broke the pup's right front elbow. The owner only had "show dogs" and a "broken" puppy was of no use to her so she brought it to her vet to be euthanized. A vet tech at that animal hospital took her and brought it to her sister, another vet tech, who works at the Animal Medical Center in NYC. I guess they took sympathy on this poor puppy who was an amazing dog other than her bum leg. The hospital took the puppy in and performed various surgeries to fuse her elbow. Then sister (the 2nd vet tech) took the puppy in while she recovered. She wanted to find a better home for the pup because she had small children that may be too rough with the puppy. My friend overheard a story about the dog and how it needed a home and volunteered her services. I snatched up the puppy from said friend and it's been perfect ever since. So - now I have an adorable, fluffy puppy who is slightly edgy with her gangsta lean.
Here is a picture of my aunt and mom in happier times. My mom, of course, looks like a 70's crackhead in her mixing patterns. My mother was not a fashion plate....at all. When my mom passed away I donated 17 bags of clothes to Goodwill. The only thing that kept me from sinking into complete misery when I was going through my mother's things was the complete insanity of my mother's fashion. She loved crazy clothes.
This is a shot of the famous "missing aunt" and myself. I always viewed my aunt as an older sister. She always seemed so young and I felt so much closer to her than I did to my mother. I really wish I had more up to date pictures of my aunt but when she ran off with my mom's fiance...mom went on a picture slashing rampage. So - this is all I have.
I'm trying to post a couple of pictures to add a little more dimension to all the characters I talk about. Here is a picture of me and my grandmother - I think I'm about 4 in this shot. Grandma doesn't look much older today - though her hair isn't this big anymore.
A couple of years ago, I went to New Orleans for Halloween. I was assisting another manager (who was also a good friend of mine)at the management company I worked for to help her with a band playing the Voodoo Festival. The trip was fun but stressful - it rained the whole day of the festival and the people who ran the festival were complete idiots. When the performance was done, we all went out to celebrate.
Has anyone had a Hurricane? It's a drink that tastes like Kool-Aid and has some kind of ridiculous amount of rum in it. Well, I'm not that big of a drinker. I've always been a lightweight. But it was Halloween and I was going to drink one. I was very drunk very fast.
So now, the drunken troupe I was with (the artist's personal assistant, her boyfriend, the manager friend, and ex-boyfriend that I happened to bump into by chance on Bourbon Street) all decided that we should enter one of these cheesy strip clubs that lined Bourbon. And for some bizarre reason they decided that I should be the one to pick which one we went into. I immediately saw a very short, Hispanic man who was holding a cardboard sign. The sign was obviously just ripped off the side of a box and he was flipping it over his head. On one side,in very sloppy print in black magic marker, was written "Topless Women" and the other "Bottomless Men". This was the place to go.
Upon entering, there was a small rotating stage. On the small rotating stage was an enormous half naked woman...touching herself. We sat at a table and ordered drinks and the waiter told us that we probably wanted the back room. We walked though a beaded curtain to the back room which contained the "Bottomless Men". On stage was a guy who looked like he belonged in the cast of "Cats". He was wearing a mane of feathers and had body paint to make him look like a tabby. He was literally prancing back and forth across the stage waving his paws and making mewing/meowing sounds. I think at this point I must have been laughing so hard that I almost peed my pants.
A guy wandered over to my group who was the "lap dancer". The guy was trying to emulate sex appeal by wearing a pair of white boxer briefs. At some point my ex-boyfriend gave the guy twenty dollars to go to town on me and my friend - so the dancer decided to put his package on my face and vibrate. Now, I do this thing when I'm really horrified and embarrassed - and that is to scream. I was laughing - yet screaming. I think at that point I ran out of the club because the whole experience was so funny I thought I was going to burst.
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I was really disappointed on my trip this past weekend - I was looking for this place and couldn't find it!
Well, I thought I'd make it to thirty without some kind of hysterical breakdown. But I didn't quite make it. I've been crying because I feel terrible about leaving my grandmother home alone for the weekend. Never mind that she's told me that she doesn't care and that she has the dog to keep her company (well not telling - actually it's more like a combination of gestures, broken English and very basic Chinese that we got the point across - but I digress)
I'm leaving to New Orleans in the AM - so I can avoid the kind of chaos and drama that my birthday seems to bring.
Which reminds me - I have to remember to post my funny strip club story upon my return!
When I was a young girl - I thought thirty was ancient. I really did. I thought I would have accomplished all that establish me in this world would be done by twenty-six at the very latest.
I also thought I'd be freaking out a little more. Maybe I will have total meltdown - in which case I will document it so you all can read about me losing the last threads of sanity to my old age.
So I haven't been posting as often as I should be ...but I have an excuse. We adopted a 6 month old puppy, a Shih Tzu to be exact. She's adorable and the whole family is thrilled with her - she just has to get this housebreaking thing down.
So, this past weekend had two etiquette faux-pas happen. My boyfriend and I went to a lovely rooftop picnic at a friend's in Park Slope. The little gathering also included the host, her boyfriend, and a girl that I don't know that well, but is at most of the gatherings attended by our friends. The food was fantastic, the day was beautiful and the conversation was fun. But every once in a while the girl that I don't know that well would throw out some "republicans suck" sort of comments. After a couple of hours, she decided to bring up the war (faux-pas # 1). At which point, my boyfriend lost his temper(faux-pas #2) and snapped at her.
Now, here is my question....at what point did we lose that unspoken etiquette rule of no politics or religion in polite conversation? I have been at several parties that I've seen people squirm over the discussion of money and quickly change topic but the discussion of politics always creeps in.
I don't want to hear other people's opinions - I have tons of source material that I can look over on various topics from people who ACTUALLY know what they are talking about. I don't want to be swayed by friends - most of the time they have the wrong information to begin with. And even if you did have tons of information and did years of research on a topic - people are passionate about their politics (and religion and sexuality) why would you want to possibly piss someone off who has just consumed four beers?
I'm not very political - I have my opinions and my own judgments. And I feel like everyone has the right to their own opinions BUT if you are at a party and you have no idea what the person's background/beliefs are that speaking to....you may not want to start talking politics.
Does anyone have any etiquette hell stories to share?
