There are many reasons why I no longer speak to my former best friend...here is #1
Now let me start off with the fact that I am not some evil person who has constant drama with friends... I don't. I actually had a really idealized image of friendship because I am an only child. I always felt that because I am an only child - I would be able to create a family with friends. I thought I could create a Ya-ya sisterhood and have friends for life (don't gag) Well, It worked for a short time, I just chose the wrong people to be friends with. I look back now on some of the friendships I chose over others and I realize that the reasons that seemed so clear to me in the past as to why certain people would make better friends - don't apply now. And certain people in my life just didn't grow as people.
I'm in my late twenties. And I recently lost my mother - and in that time of grief and sadness I really had to look around me. I had to start taking care of my eighty one year old grandmother and buy a house in the suburbs (not exactly my gameplan). I had to honor my mother by really assessing my life - one of my mother's last statements was"I can't die - I haven't done anything I've wanted to do" I never want to say that.
I had a friend that wasn't there for me at all. No phone calls or qucik visits from her...not even a "how are you feeling" or "how are you doing". And then she played mind games with me to make me feel like I was the inconsiderate one. That's just wrong.
And she always holds up the banner of "well... I was in a bad marriage". But, I was there for her the entire time (I helped her move out of the house they shared when she finally realized she was in an abusive marriage) and she has never been there for me.
So now - I don't feel too bad about justifying why I (and other women who feel like they need to hold on to drama filled friends) don't need this person in my life anymore.
My boyfriend came down with the flu yesterday and now I am beginning to feel weak and tired. I hate being sick. I despise being sick. I finally get liberation from my soul-crushing job this Friday and it will be into a flu dazed sleep this weekend.
There are many reasons why I no longer speak to my former best friend...Here is reason #128
When I turned 26 - she decided to take it upon herself to throw me a birthday party. She invited friend, mostly hers and arranged some of the details (though I had to call everyone, give directions and times to most people) We were suppossed to meet at 10pm - and the place that she had arranged had a private party going on - so no one could get in for about a half hour. Then she showed up an hour late - stayed for 10 minutes and said she had to do an errand and asked my boyfriend if she could borrow his keys for a minute. THREE HOURS later she returned. All the birthday attendees had left and I had to wait for her to return with the car keys. When she finally came back she said she had to bail someone out of jail. I don't even think I got a gift from her that year.
I put in my notice at this job a month ago and my bosses are making me feel guilty about leaving. I was seriously told that they "feel abandoned by me" I feel like I'm in a clingy relationship. Did they expect me to stay here forever? Are they going to call me everyday and ask me if I'm coming back. Are they going to drive past my house everyday and see if I'm home?
My little, Asian grandmother is eighty one years old. She broke her hip five years ago and is still more active than my late-twenty-something ass. In fact, in the huge New York snow this past weekend she shoveled the driveway. I, being afraid my neighbors would call the police for granny abuse, tried to wrangle the snowshovel away from her. She then batted me over the head with said shovel.
I was trying to start off this blog on a happy, cheery sort of vibe but that quickly dissolved as I started to feel the symptoms of the flu. Now I'm cranky, congested, tired and all ready too filled up with tea to move. I think that in my current state it wouldn't be too noticeable if I had a lunch cocktail here at my desk - unfortunately the four minibar sized scotch bottles I had in my desk are missing. I am debating if it is appropriate to send out an officewide email about my missing booze.
I am just trying to figure out how normal people end friendships without committing violence. If you are the person trying to end the friendship you are frought with guilt and just plain annoyed by the entire situation. If you are on the other end - you are just wondering why. Well how about this - maybe you are a selfish bitch and I've just had enough of your utter bullshit - how about that?
