i'm lost in translation

There are many reasons why I no longer speak to my former best friend...here is #1

Now let me start off with the fact that I am not some evil person who has constant drama with friends... I don't. I actually had a really idealized image of friendship because I am an only child. I always felt that because I am an only child - I would be able to create a family with friends. I thought I could create a Ya-ya sisterhood and have friends for life (don't gag) Well, It worked for a short time, I just chose the wrong people to be friends with. I look back now on some of the friendships I chose over others and I realize that the reasons that seemed so clear to me in the past as to why certain people would make better friends - don't apply now. And certain people in my life just didn't grow as people.

I'm in my late twenties. And I recently lost my mother - and in that time of grief and sadness I really had to look around me. I had to start taking care of my eighty one year old grandmother and buy a house in the suburbs (not exactly my gameplan). I had to honor my mother by really assessing my life - one of my mother's last statements was"I can't die - I haven't done anything I've wanted to do" I never want to say that.

I had a friend that wasn't there for me at all. No phone calls or qucik visits from her...not even a "how are you feeling" or "how are you doing". And then she played mind games with me to make me feel like I was the inconsiderate one. That's just wrong.

And she always holds up the banner of "well... I was in a bad marriage". But, I was there for her the entire time (I helped her move out of the house they shared when she finally realized she was in an abusive marriage) and she has never been there for me.

So now - I don't feel too bad about justifying why I (and other women who feel like they need to hold on to drama filled friends) don't need this person in my life anymore.

posted by Jin @ 8:02 PM