I've been a little busy and a little uninspired to write anything lately - unfortunately, I feel like 1) no one really reads my blog and 2) I've been spotty with my posting because my life is overwhelming me. But no one is interested in the minutiae of me trying to handle my schedule, my finances and the ongoing turmoil going on inside my head. Sadly, my blog has been making me feel lonely. I really don't know what to do with myself. I feel like all my thoughts are trapped in my mind and I am just completely unable to express how completely annoyed and sad everything has been making me lately - I am probably never going to locate my aunt, my bathroom is still falling apart, the holidays are approaching and my tiny family unit seems even smaller and more pathetic this year. I'm losing touch with the few friends I do have and I haven't met any new friends at all nor do I think I will have the opportunity to....I've also had this phase of complete bitchiness which I am sure is scaring away the potential gal pals. When my mother was alive - I always blamed her and resented her for holding me back from a life I could have had - and now I have no one to blame and I am tired and lonely and on occasion extremely cranky.
In other news, I just took my midterm practical exam for Swedish massage technique - I was so nervous and the room was extremely hot - so I started sweat profusely. Do you remember that scene in
Broadcast News when the
Albert Brooks character starts to sweat - I wasn't too far off. So - can you imagine getting a massage from an extremely inexperienced massage therapist that is dripping sweat on you? I was SO horrified and embarrassed....
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