i'm lost in translation

Tales of Friendship

I felt a twang of guilt not too long ago - my grandmother asked about my friend A. and wondered where she had gone. We had been very close friends for a long time and since my mother passed away - my grandmother has displayed an extraordinary amount of affection and interest in my friends. Unfortunately, I don't speak to A. anymore.

A. and I had gone to the same grade school and lived in the same town our entire lives but didn't become friends until we were in college. My only clear memory of her in grade school was her dragging some poor boy in my class across the playground after she declared him her boyfriend. I saw her on campus at the local community college and later she got a job at the same small pharmacy I was employed at. We were not likely friends. She seemed so different than me. She didn't care what people thought of her, she did everything her own way and she seemed to have everything together. She was going to school to become a teacher and had a long-term steady boyfriend. She had a flame of red hair that seemed to match her personality and "spunky" seems to be the best word for what I thought she was like. We became fast friends but I never felt close to her. I wasn't 21 at the time so I was often blown off for her other friends who were older. Sometimes she hung out with my friend S. and me with our group of friends - but she kept to herself and didn't have a great time when she was "out of her element". She often said that she didn't like my friends. She broke up with the long-term boyfriend she had because he cheated on her and she and a girl that was her "best friend" spent the summer in the Hamptons. I felt like a child during that time and it seemed like all my friends had plans except for me. A. also let me in on a little tidbit that ate at my insecurities - HER best friend didn't like me.

Oddly enough, she met a guy in the Hamptons who was vaguely connected to my social circle. He had dated a friend of a friend in my social circle and we had been friendly - so when she brought him around I was all ready chummy with him. We soon became our own little social group - A. and her new boyfriend, (we'll call him Sven for now and sadly this little made up name is not as ridiculous as his real name) Sven, A.'s best friend - Rachel (Rachel - the anorexic model who nevel seemed to get work - Rachel who hated me) and some of Sven's friends. After Sven and A. dated for a while they allowed me to tag along a lot more and I gladly did. They dragged me out to the Hampton's one weekend to try ecstasy and it wound up being the glue that kept us all together - we partied and hung out all the time. My mother was working nights at the time and my grandmother had temporarily moved back to Taiwan - so the house was free from parental interference at the time. A. and her boyfriend would come over all the time and spend the night at my house - at first I was flattered and thought that they just enjoyed my company...but I think I quickly realized that my house was just a place to fool around in without anyone bothering them. The relationship between Sven and A. deteriorated quickly - though they went out for a year and a half - the end came fairly quickly. A. told me he was abusive and he threw a mug at her - she added that she wouldn't tolerate that kind of behavior and dumped him.

What was odd was during that time period - A. started to go a little crazy. She dated a series of total jerks including a bisexual cokehead who wanted to include her in his habits. Rachel (whom this entire time I was told hated me) approached me and told me she had had enough of A. and wanted to know if I wanted to hang out with her. My loyalty laid with A. though and I brushed Rachel aside. I think in my mind I thought that I would finally be the "best friend" - I hadn't realized what this title entailed with this particular friend.


Tales of friendship continue later.......

posted by Jin @ 4:59 PM