i'm lost in translation

To All the Boys I Loved Before..... Part II

My first "relationship/love/stalker": Tony
Brief description: Was the kid in grade school that was REALLY annoying. Always had allergies and a dirty handkerchief. Very cute as a young boy. Shorter than me in grade school then shot up to about 5'9" or 5' 10" , brown hair, brown eyes, kind of nasally voice. Very smart and artistic. Average build, terrible dresser.
Time period: From 3rd grade to college

Tony had a crush on me all through grade school and junior high. In third or forth grade he created a game with his buddies where they would ambush me and run their hands through my hair while screaming "BUZZ!" Though I had to endure this mental torture in my early social development; I still decided I liked Tony. I had a crush on him and he had a crush on me....but we never did anything about it. Tony followed me around like a puppy for a good portion of my growing up. He used to hang around my mom's electronic store a lot with me. Eventually my mom just starting using him as slave labor. She figured if he REALLY wanted to spend time with me he may as well be working too. I think from about 4th grade to about seventh grade my journal entries consisted only of "Kim loves Tony". We stuck to being only friends no matter how much Tony tried to win my heart. Finally the summer before we all went to high school I gave in and we "went out" - it lasted a month and I freaked out and dumped him (commitment issues at 12 years old - who knew).

Somehow, we remained very close friends. Tony was one of my best friends in high school. When we finally graduated, we had one of those stupid "what if" conversations and it made me feel as if I had made some horrible mistake and that Tony should have been more to me than just a friend. He went to a college within driving distance and I went to visit him a couple times. We eventually fooled around and when it almost got to the point of intercourse I got really creeped out. I felt like I was making out with my brother.

When I think of Tony I get a little nostalgic. The friendship we had was really special to me and it makes me sad that I don't have that anymore. He was such a clean cut optimistic boy and he grew up to be a bitterly sarcastic grump - but that's Tony. We remained close up until recently. I was a bridesmaid in his wedding.

Favorite memory of Tony: When we were about twelve or thirteen, Tony drew a portrait of me with pastels and brought it to my mom's store to give to me. I was totally flattered but tried not to show it. When he gave it to me my aunt looked at it over my shoulder and said to him "You drew her breasts too big. They aren't THAT big!" I think we both almost died of embarrassment.

posted by Jin @ 2:40 PM